Well my 8 year blogaversary came and went, and I never did get the archives up from the first few years. The actual day is October 15th. I read the post and it is actually a couple of letters I wrote to the Humane Society about a stray that had been dumped near my office back in 1997 and I took there and was paying to board until he was adopted. He was there 3 months, and finally someone took him. I named him Bones, because he was so skinny. We had 3 large dogs at home then, so another wasn’t really an option.

I have avoided blogging because I was afraid it would jinx the sale of my moms house if I started to write about it. There were problems, but not with the buyers. The neighbor started harassing the buyers who were doing some repairs on the property that the lender required, and we were afraid they would pull out. I was on pins and needles for about 2 weeks. But escrow closed yesterday and I breathed a sigh of relief.

I have been missing Natalie alot, and thinking about her, and things.

I don’t remember losing track of you
You were always dancing in and out of view
I must have thought you’d always be around
Always keeping things real by playing the clown
Now you’re nowhere to be found

I don’t know what happens when people die
Can’t seem to grasp it as hard as I try
It’s like a song I can hear playing right in my ear
That I can’t sing
I can’t help listening
And I can’t help feeling stupid standing ’round
Crying as they ease you down
‘Cause I know that you’d rather we were dancing
Dancing our sorrow away..

jackson browne

When I got home last night from work I just felt lonely.  Some nights I enjoy being alone, actually look forward to it, but not last night.  Last night I wanted some company, but I didn’t have any, so I watered the lawn, and made the dogs dinner, fed the cats and scooped their dirt box, I heated up some dinner and opened some wine and watched TV.  But it was lonely.  I craved some small talk, and so I talked to the dogs. 

One way conversation?

I always say I will never marry again, that my weekly date with D is enough these days, but I am starting to think maybe it isn’t.  I have lived alone the majority of my adult life, being married for only 7 years, and the kids were with me for only 12 before they were off to college.  So you would think I would be used to it. I am but I think it is starting to get a bit old.

I have my friends here on my blog, and I read about the fullness of your lives and your creativity and I feel like I need to do something more.  I am just not clear what that more is right now.

I so enjoyed Anne’s entry  today.  It reminded me of why I blog.  I started in October of 2001, right after my dog Bear died and 9/11.  I think I needed a place to go.  I started as My Meadow, then after my husband left me I moved to blogger and Black and White and Read all over, but that wasn’t a good space for me, and so when I moved after the divorce I finally came home to my Canyon Cottage and it feels right.  I still have not converted all my archives from that first blog.  Perhaps that will be a project to do before my 8^th blogaversary which is coming up soon.

For some reason my mind has not been able to “calm” itself, and I have been whirring like a machine these last few weeks.  Part of it was the fires I think,  there were a few days where I thought I might evacuate.  And the smell, constant, ash everywhere, it was disconcerting and stressful.   Some nights I would wake up and the smoke was so strong I would have to shut the windows, it was like the fire was next door.  Also the people we had been helping that I wrote about in my last post finally got to go home last weekend, they were evacuated for over 2 weeks.  I constantly worried about them and their pets.  The fire is not out, it is 91% contained as of today, but there is no smoke plume anymore and the air no longer smells of smoke, a constant reminder of the fire.  I finally slept a full night Sunday.

I put my moms house on the market last week too.  It sold in 5 days with multiple offers. We are in escrow now, once that closes the house I grew up in will belong to someone else.  I could never go back there, I hated going there to deal with clearing out moms things. I think I will be glad once this is done too.  Too many things to think about, this will be one less.

Cosmo's

I had alot of pots on the patio with flowers, but when the fires started the air was so bad and the heat, the days were over 100 for over a week, that I neglected to water them.  So they all died.  I need to replant them all. With fall around the corner I thought I would put in some mums.  They do well in pots and will provide some color for the patio.  This weekend that will be a little project.  Hopefully it won’t be too hot.  We had a nice cool snap and a few days in the low 80’s and some clouds, but its warming up again.  Fall really won’t  be here until November, and it is my very favorite time of year.

I have been thinking about all of you and meaning to write and read blogs but things have begun to get crazy a little over a week ago when the Morris fire started on August 25. I work for the City just below the fire, and am also are part of the Emergency Operations Command for that City. Since no homes were threatened in the City they did not activate the EOC. But later in the week, Thursday, the EOC command chief asked me and one of my coworkers, we are both part of this organization, and have been trained. I wrote about it here, to go and assess the needs of some animals that had been evacuated out with their owners and were at a makeshift shelter up the canyon.

These people live up in the canyon on a forest service land along a dirt road in cabins and trailers and were evacuated when the fire came close to them, and fortunately as of today there homes are intact, but the electricity is still out. Some of the cabins don’t have indoor toilets, so there are out houses, and some cabins are quite comfortable. So you can imagine the eclectic group.

They were staying in tents on private property, with permission, with their animals because the Red Cross would not let them come to their shelter with their pets. Although the red cross was providing meals. It was over 105 out and the smoke was awful. When we arrived and told them we were just there to see if they needed anything for their animals, they were relieved and of course they did. There were cats in tiny carriers in 105 degree heat, there were birds and dogs and a rabbit. I called NW and told them we needed them there and we went to get some supplies. We went and bought food wet and dry, litter, and a couple large wire crates for the cats, and couple small wading pools for the dogs to cool off in, and were able to return and provide immediate relief within an hour. Many of the dogs were old, and the cats needed some room to cool off. The city brought some easy ups for additional shade. A total of about 10 dogs 8 cats and 5 birds and a rabbit.

NW’s large supply trailer arrived a few hours later with more crates x-pens etc. I went home, additional volunteers showed up and the place was manned by NW from Thursday to Sunday. It wasn’t a traditional deployment as the people were caring for their own animals; we were just supplying the food etc and assistance when needed. These people didn’t have much. I was there Friday and Sunday, and brought lunches for the volunteers, changed a couple cat boxes, fell in love with this very old dog  Tommywho I wanted to take home and take care of. You can see pictures of the deployment and read about it here.

Tommy cooling off

There was a rescue on Thursday when NW hiked in about a mile to bring out 2 dogs which were left by an owner who was not home when they were evacuated, there were also 2 cats, but since the fire was contained the thought was people would be going back in with in a couple of days. But by Sunday when it did not look like the residents would be able to return NW went back in and brought out the cats.

Because there is no electricity at the cabin the residents are not going back in, hopefully electricity will be restored by early next week. NW pulled out on Sunday night, and the red cross said they would not provide any more meals since it was not an official shelter, but my friend and I have been doing welfare checks daily on the animals and people and also arranged through APU and several area churches to have at least one hot meal a day brought in. So since last Tuesday they have been getting a hot meal each day, and we have stuff coming until Monday.I am hoping they can go home by then. We have also been making sure that they have anything they need for the animals.

Thank you for eveyones nice comments about Sprocket.  As you know by now my animals mean the world to me.  If you have not ever been over to Daisy’s Blog you might wnat to check it out too:)

It’s kind of a mixed blessing.  I loved that little dog, but I was basically providing hospice care for him for the last year or two.   I have not gone anywhere over night, i.e. vacation, because I had no one to leave him with, and boarding was not an option.  He required to much care.  So now I can actually  go somewhere.  Plan a vacation, go to a conference, get out of Dodge.  I almost feel guilty about that. 

For years it was the same with Natalie. I was the caregiver, and leaving her for more than a couple days was very difficult.   Alot of people would have said why would I do what I did for Sprocket?  Because he did alot for me, I was so used to “taking care” of someone it was second nature for me to just do it.  So doggy hospice was what I did.  He never suffered, he had everything he needed, and when it became clear it was his time I made sure he did not suffer or linger.  BARK magazine had a good article on Doggy hospice care this last issue. 

So now I am thinking of taking a little trip.  Just for a few days this fall.  My favorite time of year. I would probably go alone, so I don’t want to stay too long.  But I am not sure where to go that I could find things to do, nature and scenery within driving distance.

Mmmmm! Biscuit Please!

On Friday my little Sprocket had another stroke.  He had one last year in about October, but recovered.  I took him into the vet and they gave him a good dose of Valium to stop his spasms and watched him for the afternoon.  I brought him home on Friday night and he had some pumpkin and wet food for dinner and a very long drink of water.   He slept ok, I kept him in bed with me for much of the night, and the next morning I thought that perhaps he would again recover but it was clear he had lost control of his bladder and mid morning he started to spasm again. The sedation had probably finally left his system.  I took him back to the veterinarian and prayed there was something else they could do, but deep in my heart I knew it was time to say good bye.  Sleep well sweet friend.   You will always be in my heart.

I live in a hillside canyon area above the City a bit and we get lots of wildlife.  I really enjoy seeing the raccoons and coyotes, all the birds and yes even the bear.  We have a bear that makes the rounds several times a week,  tripping trash cans and meandering about.  He usually only comes out late in the evening, although I did see him once sleeping under a tree on a hillside behind one of the houseshere.  Yesterday at 7:30 pm in broad daylight there he was, right across the street from me.  I went out on my porch and he stood up looking the other way in the yard of a neighbor in front of the recently dumped trash cans, the garbage man came that morning.  Poor guy I am sure he is old and hungry and has come to rely on the trash as a food source. Fortunately most of the neighbors here just live with it, we pick up the trash he spreads from his antics and try to bungee cord the cans closed. But we don’t complain to the police, or at least I hope we don’t.  He is more afraid of us, and really not a threat.  The cans right across from me get hit several times a week since there are about 10 lined up along a fence which are for several homes on a very narrow steep road, so they just keep them all there.  Its kind of a smorgasbord for him, the bear.  Mine have only been hit once  lately. They are close to the house in the driveway, he is leery about coming so close, but the porch light was off that night.

One night I drove in my driveway with a friend after a late dinner and my neighbor called out to me,  careful the bears here. And sure enough I would have almost walked into him.  he shone his flashlight on the guy snacking away on the trash 10 feet from me.  I stood there and watched, it is amazing and awesome to be so close to something so powerful yet not feel scared or threatened.

I wish I had got a picture yesterday, but I wasn’t thinking when I went outside other than to see him.  He really did look like a giant teddy bear.

So Daisy’s surgery went well she is home I am home for this week at least.  I had originally decided to take 2 weeks off, but I don’t think i will need to, as long as I keep her confined to a single room.   I am bored spending to much time on-line and dealingwith work e-mail and issues.  I thought I had planned so well, bought a load of books to read, but I actually feel a little guilty sitting around on my duff.  Yesterday I went to lunch with a friend, today perhaps I will clean out a few cupboards.  It much to hot to really do anything in the garden, which reminds me I need to water my potted plants on the patio.  In this heat they need to be watered at least once a day.

Well here are the new kittens. I named them Tweet and Milk, for Harvey Milk.

They are cute as bugs for sure,  Milk is the white one and quite a crazy little guy.  Tweet plays but is a bit more reserved.  They are so funny to watch when they play with Roscoe.  I hav kept them apart from Daisy for now. 

Well I suppose I will go finish my book.  Reading Julie and Julia.  It make me want to go to Amazon and see if I can’t get Juila Childs cooking shows to watch.

I was just realizing that in almost exactly 6 months I will be turning 50 years old.  I am not sure how I feel about it, since I really don’t feel that old, and I am not sure I look that old.  I really hope I don’t.  

Years ago I had thought I would try and run another marathon when I turned 50, I ran one whe I was 35, and it seems so long ago. Now I would like to just lose 20 pounds by my birthday on January 23rd.  So I had better start trying, I keep saying that I am going to do it but for some reason I just have not been successful at “sticking to it”.  I know I would feel so much better at crossing that birthday if I felt better about how I look. Not that I am vain, because I really am not.

Tomorrow Daisy has her big knee surgery which has been stressing me out.  Not only am I worried about her, but the recovery will be long and the cost will be significant.  I am taking 2 weeks off to be with her so that she won’t be so stressed and I can keep an eye on her.  Say a prayer for us both.

My love bug Daisy