WOW

I am incredibly thankful for all the words of encouragement!  You guys are they best of the best.  I am over the inital shock of the news about the ex, but it is still a scab that is easily picked off.  

I also appreciate the house compliments.  I had the painters put up 8 or 9 color swatches on the front and looked at it in every kind of light and dark, dusk and dawn.   I was out there at 5 am in my bathrobe see how it looked as the sun came up! 

The long weekend was so quiet for me.  I had 4 days off, since city hall is closed on Fridays we got the Monday after as a holiday.  Since D was out of town at some family reunion thing that opted out of  I decided to practice making BBQ ribs.  So I made a rub that was way too spicy and salty,  my own fault I just put a bunch of ingredients together based on watching all those guys on the food channel.  I should have followed a recipe. Then BBQ’d them for about 2 hours on indirect heat. They were not inedible, but fortunately I only made enough for 2 meals.

Flip Side

Well here is the front of the house with the new paint.  I am getting better at posting more often huh?  I suppose even if it is just a few words, and some photos I am gettting into a routine.

Front Door

Sitting porch

You can actually see Roscoe and Daisy inthe window if you look close enough.  I should have at least curled my hose before I snapped the photos.

I did have a bit of a shock last weekend.  I fuond out my ex is living with someone.  I suppose it shouldn’t bother me, but it really really does.  She is younger, thinner and cuter.  It depresses me.  I found out because she signed Jakes birthday card. Then I bascially made the kids tell me what was going on.  I still feel like a failure.  I creid, alot. I suppose if I had left him it would be different. But I am sure I have abandonment issues.

Backyard

I haven’t getten around to taking pictures of the front yard yet.  But here is the back where the doors were replaced. It was so hot this last weekend I couldn’t get motivated to take pictures.  I did BBQ Saturday night though.  Do you like the color?

Back of house and patio

Leaving on a Jet Plane

Come and gone.  Jake came home and has already left. I took him to the airport on Monday.  We celebrated his 21st birthday on Saturday with a BBQand 21 guests and 21 cupcakes.  I scanned a bunch of photos for a slide show on the laptop, it was hit.

I think about when that little boy came to live with me he was 7 years old and his momma had just died.  He never knew his father and though he was dead too.  I raised him. He is a good kid, in college, kind, sweet, thoughtful and caring. Loves animals, his family and friends. Respects others, nature and me.  I just wish I had more patience raising those kids.  I think back on some of my impatience, it came from frustration, stress, grief and lack of understanding kids.  But I need to not regret this.  He is happy now, and that is what is important.  He thanks me for pushing him in high school, even though at he time I was not as popular.

We shared some good meals, and time together. Played Wii and bought a Wii fit (more about that in another post), adopted two kittens and named them Tweet and Harvey Milk. Got the house painted, had words and cried together. it was a short 4 weeks.  I miss him.

House painting is done. I will get some pictures up in the next few days.

Painted House

Since I finally settled my contract at work and got my retroactive raise I thought I would put it to good use.  When I bought the house I am in after the divorce I knew that it needed some TLC, but did not realize how much. My first project was a new roof, I did that the first year I moved in.  Now I am having the doors that were basically rotted out in the back replaced and the house painted on the outside.  Her are a few pictures.

New door in. See all the wood rot above it.

 

Before repairs but doors are in.

This is a picture of the back of the house, Sprocket is peeing on the patio!  Anyhow the wood and siding all around the doors had to be replaced, it became quite a big project.

Repairs completed, new siding installed and you can see above the doors is all repaired too.  Once the house is painted it will look nice.  Here are a few of my first color selections.  I didn’t chose any of these but went with a darker green called Ivy Garden.  The paint should be finished by Monday and I will post some pictures then with an update.

They all turned out to light and too blue for me.

It feels so nice to finally have this all done.  I actually could not use one set of the french doors because they were in such bad shape.  I am alsoslowly working on the backyard.  Its my home now. In a way it is probably good I didn’t or couldn’t stay in the house that my ex and I bought together.  It was beautiful, but initially I didn’t like it but grew to love it. There would have been to many memories and now I have created my own space with my own touches.

Making a Commitment

Well here I am once again.  I finally downloaded my e-mail this weekend. Over 1,000. Gee I never realized I had signed up for so many list serves and used the address ) so much. I get so much crap.   I fixed my links too, I think it was a WordPress problem since they disappeared fromm both my sites (Daisy’s).

This time I want to try and post at least 3 times a week, I know last time I said daily it lasted about 4 days then I went for over a month without a post.  I am having trouble keeping commitments to myself.  I also try and start weight watchrs about everyother week,  I have gained and lost the same 5 pounds for about 2 months now. 

Jake is home until the 23rd, he turns 21 next week.  Amazing isn’t it.  I borrowed a scanner form a friend and yesterday took out several boxes of photos and poured through them looking for pictures of him to scan.  I want to do a slide show on my laptop at his birthday party.  I found a packet of them from the day he was born, actually of his birth.  My sister holding him when he was minutes old waving at the camera.  I sure miss her. I am sure she would be proud of who he is now.  I am.

Sorry Friends

Have not been here for a while and I also have not read my e-mail.  I checked today and have over 600 unread ones.  So if you have e-mailed me, again sorry.  I am ok.

Pam,  I will e-mail you this week.  Yes reconnecting would be good

Not sure what happened to my links, I put them back up now.  They had dissapeared from Daisy’s site too a few weeks ago.  Has it been that long?

Lunch with the Ladies

On Friday I went out to lunch with 3 of my neighbors.  These are woman I have known since I moved to my little town, so about 12 years.   About 6 months ago we started to make a conscious effort to have lunch every so often, which has turned into about every 6 weeks.  Its fine, small talk and gossip.  But really not very fulfilling.  Our lives are so different, I am the youngest of the group, but thats really not why.  I suppose it becasue I just find some of the things they see as important as silly. Once we spent the whole lunch hour talking about ones new Jaguar, why she bought it, what her personalized plates mean, why she didn’t want a BMW like everyone else.  Gee, all I could think of was why would you waste all that money on a car!  I have a 6 year old Subaru and love it.  But I kept my mouth shut, I didn’t want to be ousted from the group.  I am not into material things,  I like my stufff, but it doesn’t need to bet better than yours. 

More recently I ran into another neighbor on my walk, this is someone I met as her son and Jake are close friends since 4th grade.  She is close to my age, and much more down to earth.  She and her son had Thanksgiving dinner with us (her husband was working), but I have never pushed the friendship as she is a very busy person.  I mentioned if she ever wanted to walk together to call me.  Well about a week ago she called and we have walked a few times together, I really enjoy her company.  She is alot like me.

I am trying hard to establish more friends, that sounds corny but I get lonely sometimes.  I force myself to be more social, and do things.  Yesterday I found out that Jake will be taking summer classes At Chico and doing work study at the school, so will be home for only a couple of weeks.  this saddend me since I really look forward to his companionship during the summer months.  I suppose he is growing up.

Better Days

Things are finally calming down in my life.  (Fingers crossed).  The drama over my contract at work has finally stopped and I have a signed contract that I can live with,  not what I wanted but better than a poke in the eye with a sharp stick. 

Moms house is cleared out except for some furniture that I need to have picked up, it is being cleaned and I have found a gardener to manage what there is of the yard 2 times a month. The next step is to get a Realtor over to see what she thinks about a price and the market.  I definitely want to sell it. My Uncle was supposed to be either doing or helping with all this, but it fell to me, like i knew it would.  But at least I am getting it done.

I am starting some home improvement projects.  I had new steps built in the back yard, they go from the patio up to the yard.  I am having 2 sets of french doors replaced that are rotted from water damage, in preparation for a paint job.  I am having the house painted!  Any suggestions on color?  I am leaning towards a green shade with white trim.

I am also doing a bit in the backyard.  Going to lay some pavers, had the arbor that was falling over taken out, thinking about planing some trees there instead now, or another arbor.  I better get some before pictures up so when the afters are ready you can all see the difference!

I didn’t forget

I just got busy at work. Work has been so hectic and politically crazy, there is an election today, and last week I was dealing with staff issues. Sometimes I feel like I am supervising a bunch of teenagers.  Today I am taking the time to write, even though I really should be doing other things.

It was a busy weekend, I did alot of errands and started to prepare for my overnight training.  I am going to go to a 2 day training with this organization. They basically rescue animals in a disaster and mobilize temporary shelter and will also go in after a disaster and get the animals out,  like with Katrina.  The training is being provided as part of my EOC (emergency operations center) training at work, and I plan on volunteering with the group afterwards. 

I do IT work, but since I work for a city in an executive position I get deployed as part of the EOC during any local disaster. We have meetings monthly and speicalized trianing on a regular basis.  I have only worked through one disaster, a fire about 7 years ago. They want staff trained in animal evacuation since have 2 horse ranches and a kennel in the City.