May 27, 2003
I needed to get a post up for about a week now. Things have been lousy around here. My grandmother died last Wednesday, May 21. We had a memorial yesterday; saw a lot of people that I had not seen for years, really since my sister’s funeral. What a way to get together. I was going to write about last week when she was so sick, but I think that I will either skip it, or write about it later. I don’t feel like reliving it right now. All I can say is that I was so lucky to have a grandma.
May 14, 2003
I just realized the friend that had e-mailed who had found my journal just had her 43rd birthday. I remember her and C’s. We used to hang out in high school. I think P’s birthday was May 2 and C’s was May 9. I also remember J’s, hers was closer to mine. I think it was February 2, or sometime in February.
I went to Alverno to hear Natalie’s presentation of her Senior Project. She ask to speak to the entire campus, and did a clinical presentation about her disease, then told the audience “now I am going to tell you what it is like to live with the disease “(cystic fibrosis). I was moved, so were most of the teachers, the student body gave her a standing ovation. She has finally come to terms with living and dying and growing up.
Thank God no big drama happening. I am tired of life sometimes. The end of the school year is busy. Natalie will graduate, so we need to do a Brunch. Andy and I are having a dinner party this Saturday night. It’s the neighbors. Since J was diagnosed with cancer, we (the neighbors) as a group decided to get together every other month for dinner. There are 5 couples. Quite a diverse group. But we all care about each other, and J. She needs the support of friends right now. We are all praying that the chemo will work. God she is only 10 years older than I am. Reality check. Or perhaps I should say Mortality check.
Quick question! I want to get my own domain. mymeadow.net or my-meadow.com? I think both are free. Send me your suggestion, or if you have a better one send that too!
May 13, 2003
Well I lost 2 pounds my first week on WW. BTW Karma has lost 50! Not 30, my booboo! Congrats to her, she is looking good!
One of my childhood friends found my journal on–line. She sent me a very nice e-mail. I told her that since she found it seems that she should be able to read it. No one I know knows that I have an on-line journal. Now she does. That’s ok.
I have to go and visit grandma tonight. I have been procrastinating since mother’s day. First my excuse was that she would have too many visitors on Sunday, yesterday my excuse was that I was mad because my mother told me she had given away my first edition OZ books years ago. My mom told me that yesterday. She wanted me to be mad at my grandmother for some reason. It is hard when she is lying in a bed dying, to be mad. I figured that if I go after work I don’t have to stay as long as I do if I go on the weekends.
We had a joint therapy session last week. I was feeling lousy; I had started my period and had bad cramps. It went ok. Andy seems to realizing a lot of his reactions to what I do have nothing to do with me, and everything to do with his past relationship with his overbearing parents! They should be footing the bill here! Things are probably looking up. Cross the fingers, and write the checks.
I want more rats. Diane had a litter and has 12 babies that she will be placing or keeping. I thought I would like 2 boys. I am still unsure about integrating them with Jack. He was such a brat with Neo. Oh well, Andy probably won’t go for it any way.
May 7, 2003
Ok so I took the plunge and I started Weight Watchers on line! I keep reading Karmas journal. She is always aware of her food intake and exercising, she has lost like 30 pounds. She gave me some inspiration. So here I go. My goal is to lose 25. This will bring me back to my pre-paxil, wedding day weight and a size 6-8 instead of a size 10-12. Ok, so if I do the job I will reward my self with a shopping spree. I would like to be down by the time Andy and I go to Portland for the Oregon Beer Festival, which is the last weekend in July.
Work has been taxing. I have a problem with one of my employees who needs and attitude adjustment. I reviewed him and decided to hold up his raise until I saw an improvement in customer service, and he sent a 32-page rebuttal to Human Resources. He accused me of retaliation, and sited some court cases an attached so much “stuff” it isn’t funny. I had to then meet with the HR people so they can make sure I really wasn’t retaliating. ACK!
I am planning on taking off a couple of days next week for R&R. But now I may have to come in for a meeting ACK!
Andy will be home a little late so we are having steak sandwiches with leftover steak, and I am making some soup for me.
My back was feeling a lot better after my Yoga accident. But since I went RV Camping to the stupid dog show it has been aching a lot. Today I was getting spasms between my shoulder blades. Usually my pain is lower back and hips GOD I AM GETTING OLD! And I am only 43 😦
It has been cloudy and cool this week. The way I like it. Today we even had some rain. I can wait for summer.
May 5, 2003
I went to Santa Rosa this weekend to see Ann B. for her 40th birthday. Gosh it was not a nice weekend. It was at a dog show (what else) and it rained a lot! Nobody told me we were going to a fancy restaurant, so I only brought dog show clothes. I have decided that I will only visit Ann at her home, no more dog shows!!
My body aches. From taking up the camp stuff around the RV and breaking it down. We had to do it in the rain, and there were 3 very large dogs to deal with too. I didn’t dry off until I got home Sunday night. I felt “damp” the whole weekend, even though it didn’t rain on Sunday.
Today is Cinco de Mayo. The celebration of the battle of Pueblo, not Independence Day! Andy is going to make tacos for dinner; I just have to go get the stuff at the store. He fries them with beef inside, then we stuff them with cheese and tomato and lettuce yum, maybe a margarita is in order !
I want to go to this weeklong yoga class at Esalen, but we are going to the Portland beer Festival and it starts the day we are coming back from Portland. I thought it might be a good idea, as the last time I had a bout with yoga, I hurt my back
May 1, 2003
Today is the first of May already! Time flies. I was at a 3-day management training last week. It was very good and very intense. It is call MAP, which stands for Management Action Program.
Andy is out of town. He is in Arizona until tomorrow, and tomorrow I am going to go to visit my friend Ann for her birthday. She lives in Nevada City, but I am flying into Sacramento to meet her and her husband on the way to Santa Rosa for a dog show. Another weekend bunking in the RV. Its ok, I usually have lots of fun. I just miss my animals and get irritated with all the dog breeders.
Walter has been leaving his roost in the mornings. I find him on the wire above the house when I get up. He comes down after I put his food out, and is consistently home every evening. He is such a bird. I never believed I could have a pet bird that was not in a cage. Well, never say never!
I have a solo shrink appointment tonight. Andy went by himself last week. He has been very nice since then. I hope all this works out. I don’t think I could emotionally go through a divorce without a nervous breakdown