May 29, 2004
Kodiak is my 14 yr old Akita that I have raised since she was 10 weeks old. She has been an incredibly faithful companion, and has lived a long life. She is deteriorating quite rapidly now. She not only has arthritis but also a degenerative spinal disease that has made the nerve endings in her back end diminish. She has been able to get up on her own and walk, but now she needs help. And no longer follows me around the house. I have tried everything, medications, steroids, massage. I get up 3 times a night to change her diapers, and wash her up when she soils herself. I love her so much so saying good bye will be very hard.
This afternoon I decided that is was unfair to continue to let suffer like this. She has much more dignity that what she is going through, plus it seems that she is now having a lot more pain. She is so stoic, it is hard to tell. But she yelps now if I move her the wrong way. I asked my friend who is a vet to come over tonight and help her to the bridge. She will meet all the other friends of ours there. Please say a prayer for me to be strong. Life has not been easy this last few weeks and this is not an easy decision to make.
We received news on Wednesday that Nat was accepted into the transplant program, and she was transferred on Thursday. This morning she got medical clearance and the surgery will probably happen in 2-3 weeks. It takes that long to screen and test donors. So if you know anyone who wants to help a little girl by donating a lung lobe, send me a note.
May 24, 2004
On last Tuesday I took Natalie to the Doctor and her determined that she was in congestive heart failure. Her lungs were filling with fluid, her liver was enlarged and her heart was working to hard. He admitted her and started lots of different therapies to reverse this affect. Lasix (a diuretic), antibiotics, and something called a bi-pap machine which is basically a non-invasive ventilator. It helps her breathe.
The prognosis was not good, but basically she is responding to the care and the fluid has been reduced significantly. Her best chance is to receive a living donor transplant soon. On Wednesday we should know if she will be a candidate for a living donor transplant. This is only considered when the health of the candidate indicates they would not make it until they were at the top of the cadaver list. If this happens things will go fast. She will be taken to LA Children’s Hospital (the best in the world for this type of surgery) and evaluated medically. If the surgeon says it’s a go, they start evaluating potential donors, family, friends, who are the same blood type. Of course I am b neg and she is O pos. F**K. It really upsets me tat I can’t give her my lobe. But we still are not sure. If she is rejected we wait to see how stable she becomes, and she can possibly come home with a bi-pap machine ( a non-invasive ventilator) or come home with hospice care if she wants to.
I will try and post on Wednesday to let you know what the decision is.
May 18, 2004
No coo’s from Walter. I really miss him. I just hope that he is alive and well and enjoying his freedom. I just feel deep down that if he was alive he would have come home. I continue to put food out on the patio for the squirrels and birds, so if he does show up he will have something to snack on! Someone wrote me that maybe when I brought him home he was a young immature bird and now, a year later he is feeling his oats and wants to go out and have birdlets. It is a nice thought.
Last weekend we went to a fortieth birthday party for the wife of one of Andy’s friends. They are my friends now too. It was held in the wine country near Temecula, about 2 hours from home. We had lots of fun, wine tasting then all meeting at a restaurant with a beautiful view of the vines for appetizers! Three couples stayed overnight, we were one of them. I had a lot of fun, laughed and did stupid stuff, along with the other 2 wives. I needed a reprieve from reality.
I take Nat to the doc later today. Her weight is still bad, she has not gained anything with the g-tube, and it seems as though she is losing. I had a horrible dream last night that she weighed only 53 pounds. She is actually at 78 but should be closer to 90-100. Any how her health now hangs over me like a dark cloud. I was pretty ok with everything until we had the setback with her in the ICU. I think it made me realize how fragile she really is health wise.
One of my favorite reads will be back up soon! I am really happy about this. I have to go change her link as she has changed her domain and everything! Nothing like a fresh start! Her new site will be here: www.totallyrosalie.com.
I have also been following Dori’s cancer story at www.nobrarequired.com, she needs some major prayers now. So if you believe make sure you include her on your list!
May 11, 2004
This weekend was quite busy as we had all the neighbors over for a petition signing party. We have a neighbor who calls the police on all of our dogs and kids, and who yells at the top of his lungs at all hours. We just basically got tired of him so decided to write a letter to the Police Department to complain about him! So all of the neighbors (17 so far) have signed it.
We served dinner and cocktails, and I was cleaning and getting ready for the party all morning Saturday. Hosing off the patio etc; Poor Walter was very upset. He flew off and was hesitant to come back to his spot and sat on the roof for hours.
Later that evening there were several people sitting on the patio and he was hanging out on the roof, looking upset at best. Finally he came down and sat on the patio light. He was trying to maneuver onto the shelf area where he lives, but was nervous. So I thought I would help him.
I went and got on the little stool I use to feed him, and tried to pick him up. Well that was it! He flew off, at dusk. It was almost dark out.
I am soooo worried about him. He has not come home since. He never stays away. Only once was he gone for 3 days. I feel so guilty because I tried to catch him, and he got scared.
Please everyone say a little prayer that Walter finds his way home.
May 5, 2004
I had to go to funeral this morning. It was very difficult. A traditional Catholic mass, reminded me so much of my grandma’s service a year ago. I almost started crying just by walking in the church! The lady who died was a friend’s mother. She was only 55. She was diagnosed with cancer a little over a year ago and it had already spread, and there was really nothing that could be done. She actually hung on much longer than many thought she would.
I am tired today. I didn’t get home from work last night until 10:00; I had to stay until the local election ballot count was completed. They wanted live web updates. So I stayed so I didn’t have to pay any staff overtime. Then of course I didn’t go to sleep until after 11:00.
I got a nice e-mail from Inkdragon who had not heard from me and was wondering “what’s up”. I also went to karmas site and it is gone. I think she migrated over to a new domain. She had said she was going to, I just can’t remember what she said she was going to call it?
May 4, 2004
Almost three weeks since my last post. Things have been hell. Natalie being sick, and then having some surgery on 4/26; a port-a-cath and g-tube, she spent a few days in the hospital. I juggled work and hospital visits and hubby being in India , Indonesia and China for two weeks. I missed a David Bowie concert which we had tickets for because he was out of town and Natalie was just back from the hospital and the day of the concert I was at the hospital with her as she needed a blood transfusion,. By the time we got home the concert had started. I was exhausted anyway, so I would not have had much fun.
I have also been having to spend a lot of time at evening meetings, city council, budget meetings and tonight is a city election and I have to coordinate making sure the web and cable television are updated and live.
So I am sitting here at my desk eating crunchy cheetos and drinking sprite waiting for it to be 7:00. Then I can go get sworn in a start my updates. The polls close at 8:00 but I think they will count the absentee ballots prior.
Well during all this hectic stressful time my friend who has dogs was down for a dog show and spent a couple days with me. That was nice; we went out to dinner one night and had a pedicure one afternoon. She was busy doing dog show stuff and I went with her to the show grounds one day. I can only take so much of it. But I did get some cool pictures at the show which I will post and share with you.
I also got a bit behind on my reads. Karma had her thyroid zapped! She could use some hugs *hugs* to you sweetie.
Since the City Manger left last week I am starting to dislike my job. The interim management soon to be permanent management is not very technical and would sooner blame a system than use it as a resource. This makes my job harder.
So enough complaining! I love my new Fuji Fine pics camera and have taken some cool photos; at least I think they are cool. I am going to put a link up on my links page of photographs so I can share them with you and you can tell me if they are cool!