I am worried about my mom. I don’t write about her much, as we do not really have a relationship. I left home at 19, because she basically kicked me out. She wanted me to pay rent, and buy my own clothes, and pay for my education etc. I said screw it and I found myself a little above garage apartment that included utilities for $200 a month. I lived there for 5 years while I went to school and worked 2 jobs.
Any how there is a lot between then and now. I won’t get into it at this time, but as for now; I think she is schizophrenic. Now I am not jumping to conclusions, she has had mental issues for years.
She quite her job and retired early before 55, because she could not deal with the people at work. She then tried to work part time, and had to leave because of the social aspect of things. She put her house up for sale at one point, but would not allow the realtor to show it because she did not want strange people in her home. After my sister died in 1996, she said that she felt that Barbara (my sister) was in the room with her, covering her up at night. She also thought that things were being moved in the room. She is a fanatical Catholic and believes in possession and devils and all that other garbage.
I started to get worried after my grandma died. They lived together and were completely co-dependent. My mother relied on my 90+ grandma for everything. Including cooking and going to the store mom drove, grandma shopped. After grandma passed, she stopped going to the store and to church. One day she called me up to shop for her, and then it became a regular thing. I got mad, and said no. She would call me up and ask me for antibiotics that I might have around, she was sick and refused to go to the doctor. She even called up a friend who used to go to Mexico once in a while to ask her to bring her back penicillin. She was sick for 2 months last winter, and refused to go see someone.
This has been going on for a while now. Lately oldest daughter has been taking groceries over every couple weeks. Yesterday when I called her and told her I was bringing her some dinner leftovers from Saturday she asked me to bring her some warm clothes. I said sure and told her to turn on the heat. When I got to the house, I found pout the heater was not working, for how long I have no idea. I told her I would send someone over to fix it. She wanted to know if I “knew” the person I said no, but I would find someone to take care of it. Well she wanted no part of that. She wants to find someone herself, which I will bet she will never do, because she does not want anyone in her home.
I called her last night to see if she had found someone, she said she had a different plan and didn’t need the heater fixed. She was going to buy another space heater. She refused help from me, and I just worry one day I am going to find her gone. Dead.
Thanksgiving my way
So yesterday I made a large dinner for 9 people. That is the 5 of us plus 4 guests. One of the guys I work with who was alone for the holiday, and my vet friend. Nat also had 2 of her girlfriends come over. It was a nice group.
I had a cheese plate with 5 different cheese and a venison sausage that was homemade by my cousin, crackers, nuts, pincholine and lucque olives and champagne for appetizers.
Hubby BBQ’d the turkey. I made stuffing, mashed potatoes, cucumber dill salad, acorn squash, peas, asparagus and gravy. Oh, and pecan and pumpkin pie for dessert. We had a nice pinot noir with dinner.
I am comforted by the fact that there are leftovers in the fridge and I can have a turkey and stuffing sandwich at any point today. The lack of leftovers when I don’t cook dinner really makes me freak out.
I am going to go pack up a care package of leftovers for my mom, so that the kids can drop it by her house on their way to see there other grandma.
Well, we made it through the family Thanksgiving dinner with no outbursts, offhand comments, dirty looks or cold stares. And there was salt and pepper on the table! There also was gravy, but it was not any good. No mashed potatoes, much to the disappointment of Nat.
So today is the start of Christmas season. Many of you already have all your decorations up and have probably started if not completed your shopping. I have done nothing. I am going to try and do as much shopping on-line as possible. I do not for any reason want to be at the mall 2 days before Christmas starting my Christmas shopping.
I am feeling nasty, I have cramps and just want to curl up with the heating pad. I have lots to do though, for tomorrow. Hubby and I have been debating on whether or not to BBQ the turkey or put it in the oven. You can’t stuff it on the BBQ, so you don’t have the stuffing from the bird taste, which is always quite good. I think we are going to cook in the oven. last year we BBQ’d and the year before we deep fried.
I think I better go unload the dishwasher before I go back to bed.
salt and pepper
Today is Thanksgiving. I will be attending dinner at my SIL (sis-in-laws) at 2 this afternoon. My in laws will be there, SIL’s husband and there 2 boys, who are both autistic. Oh I forgot. MIL’s brother, who I am sure is gay (which is not a problem at all). Hubby and the kids will round out the group. Notice, the statements. No complaints, just facts. Here are some more facts. SIL is not a good cook. Last night she called me to ask if I had ever made stuffing before. Hmmmm. I wonder what the stuffing will be like? Still I am not complaining, questions and facts. I made a pecan pie, a salad and a 7 layer dip. I will be bringing these items along with salt and pepper. SIL will be serving dinner on paper plates. I wonder how these will hold up with the gravy, if there is gravy.
I will be thankful that there is food on the table, and salt an pepper on the table too. I am wishing for gravy, but not getting my hopes up. I am thankful that I will be able to cook my own thanksgiving dinner on Saturday, and not have to invite any of them. Which means I can use as much, fat, salt, nuts, and cream as I want in my recipes. And I can have mashed potatoes! FIL (father in law) does not like mashed potatoes, so they are never made unless I host dinner. And even when I do,, MIL tells me not to bother making them since FIL doesn’t like them. I guess she wasn’t thinking about the rest of us WHO LOVE THEM, mixed with peas and gravy! I will be thankful that I can use all my good dishes and crystal, and my thanksgiving table cloth that was my sisters. I will be thankful there will be no paper products used, except maybe napkins if I can’t find my linen ones. However if they are paper they will be color coordinated with the rest of the table. I will be thankful that I can have a flower centerpiece that I will design and make myself, because I won’t have a bunch of whinny people complaining about the smell, I can light candle for the same reason.
I am thankful for Nat having new lungs that work, my on-line friends who help get me through each and every day, my family, my husband and the good fortune that god has given us. I am also so thankful for my furry friends who always give my unconditional love. And everyone needs that!
Now for the complaints. I started my period and feel awful. I am crampy and bloated and ornery, can you tell?
Ok. We are back after a weekend away wine tasting here. It was nice to get away. I really needed a little R&R. Although I did not sleep well at the B&B; the pillows were not down, and they were hard as rocks. I was appalled, as there was a down feather bed under the sheet. Who would leave out the feather pillows? Oh well. I slept good last night.
We bought lots of wine, 3 cases to be exact. I am going to have to go out and get another rack to store it properly. Most of the wine was Zinfandel or Syrah. However we found some good whites, which were chardonnay blends, and also found some interesting French style blends. I am learning a lot more about wine and wine making. This is one of the cats that was at a winery we stopped at. He is sitting on the tasting bar getting some love.
We ate at a couple of very good restaurants, so I totally went off my diet. Completely! I even had a desert all to myself on Saturday night! So today I am going to have to really get back to business, or I will never see the light. It is going to be hard too. With T-day this week, then the Christmas holidays coming up.
Yesterday when we got home, we decided to put drag our mattress back into the bedroom. So we piled all the boards and stuff against the wall with the hole, and put the drawers back into the vanity in the bathroom, there are 12 drawers, so they were taking up lots of space. Then we moved back into the room. The contractor has not started yet, and now hubby wants a different contractor to look at the situation and give us a price. He was out last week and is coming back today, so should have the quote done today, but cannot start anything until after T-day, which means, I have no clue when anything will happen. Tile has lead time, so does almost everything!
Most of our bedroom furniture is either in the living room or hall. Are bed is in pieces where ever we could find room to put it. But sleeping in the bedroom was great. I slept better than I have in quite some time.
I am going to take Wednesday off. So I will have a 5 day weekend. YEA! I am cooking on Saturday, as we have to go to my sister in laws for the holiday. YUK. I hope she salts the food. She is a horrible cook, I cannot for the life of me figure out why she wants to do the holiday.
I have to say I really like having this little guest book, comment area. Thanks Yvonne! It actually looks like more that 2 people read my blog!
So if you read drop me a note!
pizzaI am eating one of those frozen diet meals at 9:45 in the morning. I am starving and I didn’t want to buy some junk out of the machine, so I decided to eat my lunch now. I guess I will have to go and get a turkey sandwich for lunch later. I don’t want to screw up my diet. Last night I was watching TV late and decided to eat a piece of pizza.
We had ordered pizza for dinner, but I was good and ate salad and a piece of meat, although the salad had walnuts in it. I was stressing out about the house and got hungry. Oh well, at least I only ate one piece.
Hubby and I are going to Pas@ R*bles to wine taste for the weekend. It will be our 6th anniversary on Sunday. It really feels like we have been married much longer, probably because of everything that we have been through, more drama than most people experience in a life time.
I like to get away, but I always really miss my animals. More than the kids, no surprise.. I really like coming home, it feels good. I am really beginning to love my home. At first it really didn’t like it, I missed my Tahoe so much, but now it so feels like home..
I can’t wait until all the construction get finished, which will be a while since they still have not even started. I plan on cleaning closets and getting rid of lots of junk. Since we are putting new carpet in all the bedrooms, that means we will have to clear out the closets. What a good reason to spring clean! I also am getting a new couch for the family room. Every thing should be put back together by my birthday. It does not look like it will be completed by Christmas, but I am moving the bed back into the bedroom as soon as the wall is fixed and the bedroom is painted.
november 13, 2004
my new guest book!
the “J” wordSo I couldn’t sleep this morning. The cat woke us up early, meowing for breakfast. We can’t keep food out for him all the time, because the dogs eat it. So we have to feed him when he asks. Hubby got up to feed him and stayed up, about 6:00, and I got up about 45 minutes later.
I didn’t sleep well last night. Some weird stuff happened this week. Hubby’s mother called him and asked if she could meet him Saturday (yesterday) to talk to him, just the two of them. Well we both knew right away there was something going on, it couldn’t be simple, even though we both tried to think in those terms. Mind you Hubby’s father and I were not included.
So it turns out that she felt some things that she felt compelled to get off her chest, almost 6 years after we got married. See Hubby is Jewish, and I am Catholic. Neither of us practices, but when we got married we felt strongly that we wanted both a rabbi and a priest to marry us. This was after we had announced that a Justice of the Peace would suffice. So when his parents found out they were not happy. Even though they no longer belong to a temple or, from what I can tell practice any type of worship. BTW my mom didn’t care.
So thus the several month long saga of dealing with this issue began. We decided that we would write our own ceremony and have 2 readings one from the old, and one from the New Testament. Some poetry, we would write our own vows, the ring the kiss and viola, married! We had a close friend who was a priest and basically would do anything that we wanted for the wedding; we had a hard time finding a rabbi who would participate. Finally we found one, I will call him Rabbi to the Stars, or RS for short. He basically would do any type of ceremony, for a buck. He gave us one restriction, no mention of the holy trinity, you know the father the son and the holy goat. We can handle that. No problem.
I chose the Wedding at Canaan as my reading, and Hubby chose something that I can’t remember.
His parents began protesting right away, they could not come to the wedding if the J word was said. They met with us, and tried to convince me how they were persecuted by the Catholics growing up, and how I should be sensitive to that. How awful it was for them, and how they wanted to be supportive, but couldn’t understand why WE couldn’t take their feelings into consideration.
Now Hubby and I are 38 years old, first marriage, we are paying for the whole enchilada. They had not offered once to help (mind you they are rolling in the cash too). I was wondering why they have about $100,000 worth of BMW’s in their garage, since they were also persecuted by the German’s. But I guess supporting their economy is different than your son marrying a catholic.
Well impasse happens and invitations go out. We received their response back in the mail, they were not attending. Ok, so we deal with it. All hubby’s siblings and families are coming in from various states, lots of family support. We are ok with this, although the drama that ensued each weekend was heavy; siblings trying to talk parents into attending, talking to hubby to make sure he was ok etc.
Wedding week arrives and various relatives begin to arrive. The Wednesday before the wedding I fax the several page ceremony to RS (rabbi to the stars) for his final approval. Note our favorite priest did not care what it said!
RS phones hubby at work. Apparently there is a problem with the reading that I chose. I was baffled; no mention of the trinity, there was not any mention of the father, son or goat, so what’s the problem? Apparently this reading, confirms that Jesus was the saviour, because he performs his first miracle. That was not part of the ceremony guidelines we received from the RS. So he better just buck up and go with the flow. We RS, says no way. Pick another one or take it out! I call my priest. He tells me just to take it out and not worry about it. I AM FUMING. It is 3 days before the wedding.
I buck up and take it out. Furious that RS wins the battle. But what is even weirder is at this point the J word will no longer be in the ceremony. Yes folks the only mention was in this reading, and since it got cut we are now “J” free.
Hubby and siblings begin to confer, on the Thursday before the wedding. Should we tell the parents? No J word, they might come. None of us cared if they were there actually, because of all the hullabaloo they caused. But everyone also felt they should know, so they could decide.
So they were called, and they decide to come. Then they asked, should we come to the rehearsal dinner? No, no reason too. You are not participating in the ceremony. Both Hubby and I said to ourselves, no unless you are paying for it!
Now, after this whole ordeal it took me years to find a place in my heart for these people. They to me are phony, and pompous. So about a year and a half ago, I decide they were old, and I could put this whole wedding thing behind me. Oh, by the way they never gave us a wedding present. NEVER.
So we go to their house, to lunch. They come over occasionally, a few times a year at the most. We deal with the phoniness of it all and go back to our lives. I stop fretting about the wedding and the lack of presents.
So yesterday the mother starts to tell hubby how she felt so left out at the wedding, and how they were not asked to participate in the rehearsal dinner. She wants to know why?
HELLO mother in law! Maybe you should rewind the story and think about it. So all that forgiving that I did a couple years ago gets undone. I am mad again. Let it go lady, I did. I thought about this all night. I want to scratch her eyes out now. We are supposed to spend Thanksgiving at sister in laws with them, and I am feeling the need to protest and stay home. I just can’t figure out what she expects from us. Thank god, she didn’t want me at their little meeting. It might have turned very ugly.
november 13, 2004
my new guest book!
I am at work on a Saturday morning. Not because I want to be, but things have to get done. I had to work with a consultant on-line and he is busy now, so I thought I would post since I have this feeling next week is going to be very busy again.
I have a bit of a problem. I lost my address book that has all my addresses for Christmas cards, which means I am lost about how to deal with it! I feel so stupid, but I just can’t find it any where. And now with the house torn apart it is even worse. I think I will send e-mail to everyone I have address for and ask them to send me their address and the address of anyone else they think I might want. That should do it. I will let you know how it goes.
So if I need your address, please send it to me.
november 12, 2004
my new guest book!
It has been a while since I have written a post. I usually take time during my day at the office to do so, but I have been overwhelmed with work, and the WWW is continuing to pile more stuff on my already full plate. That’s ok, I can handle it.
I was off yesterday, thanks to all those who have served in the military. I took Jake and one of his friends to see the Incr@dibles! Two 16 year old boys, in a sea of 3-10 year olds at the matinee, they loved it so did I. I sat by myself, because they like to be in the second row center, I prefer half way back to one side, which meant I got my own popcorn and didn’t have to share.
Today I am meeting a friend for breakfast and then going to pick up some new baby rats with them. I can’t have pet rats any more, so I have to enjoy my love of rats through others. It should be fun.
I have a bunch of photos to put up on my photos links that I have to deal with. And I want to take my camera out today because there are so many trees turning colors in my little town here. Even though it is So. CA, people planted them and we have fall colors her because of it.
We are still sleeping in the living room, and no reconstruction has begun on our house. It will be 4 weeks this weekend. I am fit to be tied. We are hoping that next week they will at least fix the wall and repaint the bedroom, so we can move the mattress back in there for a little privacy.
My diet is going ok. I think I am down about 4.5 pounds, and my 3 week weigh in is Monday. I am trying to decide if I should splurge for breakfast or not. I turn 45 in January, and my goal is to weigh the same as I did when I was 35. Which means 15 more pounds, and a month of holidays in between, impossible?
I have been keeping up with my on-line reads, so I know what is going on with all of you even if I haven’t posted. Big hugs.
november 3, 2004
my new guest book!
So I hope everyone went out to cast their vote yesterday. I did, and I am not very happy with the results this morning. I usually don’t provide political commentary or give political opinion here. I think it is difficult since religion seems to play a larger role in politics these days than it should.
This is my favorite time of year, weather cooler, it gets dark early, trees turning color. I wish I was back in Tahoe, although they are not getting much of an autumn season they are getting a lot of snow. This will make for a super ski season as long as we don’t get some Indian summer later this month.
The house is still apart and things are actually getting worse. The roofer, who has been apparently paying the remediation company out of pocket, freaked out when they told him that the entire bathroom needed to be retiled because they could not match the tile. So now the roofer wants to file a claim on his insurance and bring them in. So it is more of the same, wait. I can’t believe this is happening. If things don’t get rolling, we may file a complaint against him.
Work has been better since the consultants review came out favorable. Meaning I am doing my job well. One of the directors here wanted my head on a platter and talked by boss into a study of the department, hoping it would make me look bad, as his opinion of me was that I was inept and unengaged. Well it back fired, HAH! But now that one of the staff, a contact employee that worked for me, left for greener pastures I have to deal with all his headaches. Mainly a woman who we will call the wicked witch of the west, or WWW for short; she is high maintenance and a handful. I have to have lunch with her today, since I am trying to play the political game. Geez.I have lots of pictures to put up. Some from Halloween, some from my trip to San Diego, and some just of stuff. I will try and get them up later today.