June 29, 2005
talk to me!
So “kitty” came home last night. After much debate with the Vet techs, I brought home a little gray one. Apparently the Siamese had been mauled by a dog before it was dumped, thus was TERRIFIED of dogs. The other had actually been rescued from an area where there were dogs on the other side of the fence. So she was much more used to dogs, but not people. Any how when she is not hiding she sits in my lap and purrs SO LOUD! You can hear it across the room, because of that I thought about calling her Mopar… What do you think?
I went to the family session with Nat yesterday. It was really a waste of time. She was outwardly hostile to me and would not even look me in the eye. She told us that she wanted Uncle John to help her not me, so I indicated that maybe he should be in the meeting not me, she agreed. But I got home and she calls me and asks, what happened next? I was angry and told her maybe she needs to call Uncle John to ask him, since she wanted NO help from me. Then she calls me an hour later and tells me that she needs my help. So I tried. I told her that I was not going to do it for her, but I could help.
I feel so tired, my body is aching, it feels as though someone is sitting on my chest, and I want to lay down. I better go get some coffee.
June 27, 2005
talk to me!
I am testy today. Grouchy might be a better word. I feel as if I am having an anxiety attack. I woke up early with ache in my gut, I feel tense and my heart is pounding. I am sure that it has to do with Nat. I am worried about her and the situation. Apparently she has not been doing anything to get out of the facility. She has not called any of the sober living facilities; she just continues to say that she will go to a shelter if she doesn’t come home. I am being adamant about the fact she cannot come home because she violated her contract by using drugs. I can’t rescue her every time she screws up; it is time for her to get a grip. So this is what I say but deep down I do want to rescue her, I guess the anxiety is from knowing that I shouldn’t and can’t.
The good news is that hubby softened up and decided to let me bring home one of the kittens that had been dumped at the vets’ office. I took Homey in on Saturday, and my favorite vet whom I have known a long time and I chatted for a while, and she brought me a basket of kittens to play with while she had homey help her eat her lunch. There were 2 boxes dumped, and only one lived of one box, there were 4 in the other. They were all very timid except the one, who had quite the personality, and was quite playful. I really wanted to bring home one of the more timid ones, but am worried about how they would interact with the dogs, whereas I could see the spunky one just taking over. She is a Siamese mix, and quite pretty! I can hardly wait to pick her up this afternoon! I am going to go to lunch and get a litter box and some cat stuff, a bed and scratching post. I will probably need to keep her in the spare bedroom for a few days until the dogs and her become friends.
June 22, 2005
talk to me!
Another drama. Nat is doing the drugs again, stole money from her sister. Monday I took her back to the hospital and they admitted her to a mental health facility. I went to visit her last night. It was sad, she was very depressed. I was able to talk to her nurse and express concerns regarding her medications and diet. But shit, she is 20 and I really am not going to be able to protect her all her life. I really cannot, she has to start loving herself and advocating for herself. I just hope we get through this.
I also spoke to her Doctor today, he does not think she is bi-polar, he thinks she has been using drugs for several years. He was good, and spent at least a half hour on the phone with me. The plan is to get her to figure out where she is going and what she is going to do. I am always coming to her rescue, and this time she needs to find a sober living facility or go to her uncles or something. He also doesn’t think that she is suicidal. He did think she is manipulative, and a spoiled. No shit.
I am going back there again tonight. I was as going to try and find her some sweat pants without strings to take to her.
June 17, 2005
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Today is the youngest, Jakes 17th birthday. In another year they will all be legal adults and I will have completed my mission. I hope. All in college, Nats lungs received. Then I get to kick back and life can and be about me again. I never thought the time would go so quickly. It seems like yesterday is when they were just coming to live with me and I was trying to figure out how to be a parent. I have to admit, although I love all of them dearly, I am glad that we are close to adult hood. I know, I can hear you all saying, they never leave, or they will be back etc. That is true, but they are now adults and I am not responsible for their stupid mistakes, poor judgment or problems. They own all those.
I think that we are going to have to do something about Homey. I wonder if cats can wear diapers. He is peeing allover the place now, and he pooped in his water bowl! I know he is not doing it on purpose, he is a sick kitty. I need to get him into the vets next week for blood work to see how he is doing.
June 14, 2005
talk to me!
Ok so I found another funny! I was never one for Romance Novels; I prefer Oprah Book Club selections. Those Harlequin book covers gave me the creeps, but now this!
I got home from the budget workshop after 9 last night. I was all wired up, of course. It takes me forever to fall asleep after getting home that late, a glass of wine didn’t even help.
I spoke to my cousin from Wisconsin , who donated his lobe to Nat, last night. He called me on my cell on the ride home. He will be here on business and will come for a visit. He will be arriving the day that the surgery was done one year ago. That is really ironic. I told Nat and she didn’t make the connection, unbelievable.
I found this site looking for doggy sites, as you know how much I love my doggies! And low and behold it is a site of a guy who had a liver transplant almost a year to the day that Nat had got her new lungs. I am going to have to connect with him. Here he is Spotsy.
June 13, 2005
talk to me!
I am at the office working on a strategic plan for technology. This is updated about every 4 years and I am a bit late at getting it done, and as you can see I am getting bored with it so I thought I would put up a post quickly. I have to stay late tonight to go to a budget workshop so a little break is ok.
I found some really good web sites that I want to share. This one is so funny that I couldn’t stop laughing! www.storewars.org It is especially funny if you are up on all the Starwars movies.
There are two dog related sites that I read daily now, I need to put them up on my links page they are: The Doggy Woggy Photo Blog and Pet Peaves which is life in a veterinary ER. You should put them on your favorites list especially if you are an animal lover like me!
I watched the MJ verdict read on TV, I was at the PD for a meeting and they have televisions in several areas so I got to see it live. Big deal, I am not surprised. I was not sure how I felt about it all. They are all nuts as far as I am concerned.
June 12, 2005
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The weekend has been quiet. Friday I really slept late, I think that I was exhausted after last week. Not sure why, maybe just stress. All I did was pick up Jake from school, get some movies and go to Claros for some goodies. They have such great cold cuts. I took Nat with me, and we got some yummy things for the weekend.
I made a London broil for dinner, and it came out pretty good. I am not very good with the grill, that is hubbys area, but he went to the gym and it was getting late so I made an attempt.
Yesterday I did the grocery shopping and went by moms. Watched a movie, quiet day. This morning I have been much more ambitious. I cleaned both fish tanks, and did Homey’s IV fluids. I got up early to cook breakfast for hubby before he left for the airport, but he was already well into it by the time I arrived.
All year long I feed the birds and the squirrels and what ever else shows up on the patio. Each spring I anxiously await the babies. The momma squirrels bring the babies up to the patio for food. Here are some of this years babies
June 9, 2005
talk to me!
It’s been quite a couple of weeks. Things around here never cease to amaze me, the continuous drama and problems. On Memorial Day Nat decided to take a whole bottle of Tylenol. It was late, about 10 pm and so hubby and I drove her to the hospital. He went home, and I stayed with her all night. She was transferred to Ka1ser about 4 in the morning, and hubby came to pick me up to go home and sleep at about 9 in the morning. I went back later that afternoon.
She spent the week in the hospital. The shrink that evaluated her thinks she is bi-polar, which she probably is. She has been making really poor decisions, including doing drugs, which her sister told me about. I really don’t know what to do, I have tried so hard to do the right thing and take care of them.
She came home last Friday after about a 2 hour meeting with her, hubby, the shrink, and I. Random drug testing and various other conditions are part of the contract, which includes getting out if any of the conditions of the contract are violated.
Other things are going downhill. Life is strained between hubby and I. I am not sure how to resolve it, I am just laying low. He will be out of town next week, I want to try and talk to him before he leaves. We will see if that actually happens.
I am glad this week is almost over. It has been dreadful and I am tired. After last weeks drama, getting back into the swing of things has not proved easy. I physically feel like lying down and sleeping right now, and it is 3 in the afternoon and I am sitting in my office.
I don’t have a lot going on this weekend, which is good. Tomorrow I have no plans for a change, which means if I get the energy I will clean closets or something. Saturday I have to go to my mom’s. She is giving me her car for Jake to use. He doesn’t have his license yet, but will get it this summer I hope. The problem is that now she will not have a car. She doesn’t want to drive anymore. This is a problem for me, as she will be come reliant on others. As it is Nat and CJ do all her grocery shopping, I was doing it for a while, and got them to take over as they had more time. This is going to become a problem, I predict! Mark my words.